I don’t know why I continue to do it; IT bein’ to try and use peppermint in a cookie. I don’t even like peppermint except for its
medicinal value after havin a big ole El’ Camino Platter at our favorite cheap
Mexican restaurant. Starlites, are right
there by the cash register for a darn good reason.
Thing is, after my Daddy quit smokin, he used to keep a bag
of Starlight Peppermints in the drawer by his bedside. He’d read and chomp on candy until it drove
my Momma crazy. Come morning there would
be nothing but “star-wraps” on the floor and the Siamese (cat) twins, Star and
Light, would be tossin’um in the air and havin a good ole time skiddlin that cellophane
all around the room. There was no way
you could sneak up on Daddy’s side of the bed… that’s for sure.
I don’t know, maybe
that’s why I always look at’um, the bag of Starlites, maybe it goes deeper than
I’m willin to admit. But be that as it may; for the last couple of years, I’ve tried,
without success I might add, to incorporate Starlites or Junior Mints (another
one of his favorites) into the Annual
Bellevue Super Club Cookie Swap. (See
Fightin’ Cookies from last year’s post for details). I guess I rationalize that after one of those
big heavy Christmas dinners a little mint might be just what the doctor ordered. Plus I like to stand out…a bad habit…standin
out for all the wrong reasons.
But let me tell you about the looser
cookies.
Warning:
Inappropriate and graphic images are about to be created that might
negatively affect your ability to enjoy peppermints and or cookies.
The first year I was really excited to make a “hidden cookie”
which is basically, a cookie cooked inside a cookie. It called for Mint Thins…like the Girl Scouts
sell, and sugar cookie dough. Roll out
the sugar cookie dough, put the Thin Mint inside and then top with another
sugar cookie, pinch the edges and bake.
Well, that was fine except the sugar cookie spread out to be about the
size of a grapefruit and the cookie “inside” remained intact, lookin more like
my Grandma’s pacemaker snuggled next to her “you knows” than anything you would
want to eat. Judge ruled, "Not purdy, growths should not be ingested."
Then, there was the Junior Mint fiasco, basically a “thumb-print”
cookie filled with a Junior Mint. These
turned out lookin more like reindeer turds than anything you would want to eat.
“Reindeer squirts on a rock” Buck said. Worse
than “not purdy”; voted most likely to confused with a butt-hole."
Then there was a “rolled cookie” that some say was by far my
worst; they called it Santa’s Pecker. I’m not gonna even go into this one even
though you have been forewarned regarding the graphic content. Did I mention it was also rolled in
coconut. A Fuzzy Santa’s Pecker!
With all those bad experiences, “why” I ask you, would I
even attempt to make yet another peppermint cookie? It boggles the mind, but needless to say…I
did. This year’s version involved
crushing a bag of Starlites with a hammer or using a food processor. Now let me just say, if you do use your food
processor, make sure, very sure, it is completely dry prior to putting the Starlites
in. Otherwise, you got yourself a pink sticky,
slick, mess of mint in the bottom. So,
the hammer is lookin good to me right now, but I warn you, don’t hammer on
your granite counter-top, granite shards
look a lot like peppermint splinters…but don’t melt. I’m jus sayin.
Another way to approach this is to just put the Starlites in
a bag and hit them, on a cutting board, with a hammer. Oh, and take the cellophane off, it takes too
much time to pick it out even though it does melt when baked. It can’t be good for you. Another thing, make sure the pieces are not too big because
you know when you chew peppermints and they stick to the back side of your
molars…yeah, they do that in a cookie too.
All that bein’ said, this year I ended up with seventy two
of the little Starlite buggers. While the first
batch was too big and the second was too soft, the third batch turned out just
right. And you know, the
cookie judge probably isn’t gonna like’um but I feel pretty sure, my Daddy would. So, that bein’ said.
Starlite
Star bright
Last peppermint cookie I make tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might
Dream of my Daddy on Cookie Night!
 |
| Christmas - 1981 |
Merry Christmas Cookie Monster!
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