Two Bit Teena and the Wild Clematis

As 2009 draws to a close, I thought it was time for a bit of reflection. Long, long ago there was no Lurlene and Vera Lee....there was only Jayne and Coralee. They were two friends who loved an adventure....although Jayne was always more game for a throw down.

So...with that in mind....here is the tale of how one story began....on a day in June, long ago....two friends in a Volvo 240 heading down the road to Cape Charles.


Two Bit Teena and the Wild Clematis

Chapter One: Hand brake. Heart break.
Her husband tried to keep her at home in a most ingenious manner. But luckily Jayne was known for her strong right arm. It was rumored that she could snap a man’s neck with her thighs….and off they went

Chapter Two: Jumbo, would you like fires with that?
Sign of the cross…Coralee crossed herself while on the clover leaf as the wicked Walmart was on the right….all in the pursuit of BBQ. It’s okay if you don’t go back the same way you came.

Chapter Three: Coming Home to Jesus
My keys won’t work, my cart won’t start. How the hell did I leave this house without Cooks in the frig? For God sake put Jesus in the icebox.
Thank goodness Jayne never leaves without the Captain by her side. Just put an ice cube in Jesus and let’s head to the beach.
My God….don’t you have a pilsner?

Chapter Four: Five Dollar Steak Night with Two Bit Tina and the Ageing Elvis
Two bit and her Back up Boys, Elvis-Orbison, had a hot set that featured all their favorites. There was Stevie, Dave, that girl Shayna (an Indian name you know) but what got us to our feet was the unheard of possibility of sitting out the last dance. So when Coralee turned to Jayne and said “Let’s do it”….up they popped like corks from a bottle of Cooks and shook with the locals while mosquitoes buzzed above and the smell of the fry baby wafted over head.

Chapter Five: Danz….Danse…Let’s Daince or Does My Ass Look Big or Is There a Picnic Table Stuck Up My Butt?
They must have given off the sweet scent of ladies on the lose cause Bubba and Tavi moved in with the old divide and conquer. The second set hadn’t started but the box was loaded with slow grinders…locals paired up and danced cheek to cheek. Soon Bubba asked Jayne…the age old question. “Daince?” “Okay,” she said without a second glance at Coralee. Soon Coralee found herself in the arms of Tavi Man who said “Yo hair smell good.” Yes indeed her hair smelled of fresh fried potatoes.
Coralee found herself without words, without breath and without memory—she felt the picnic table pull ever so tighter and she wondered if the song would ever end.

Chapter Six: Let’s Go, Let’s Go NOW!