Invisible Ink

Hittin' on two months now and I've been thinkin' more than doin'.  I started readin about writin and I shouldn't have.  It made me want to get things right...while before I just got things and what went down was as right as it was gonna get. 

Maybe I jus got quiet for a spell while I tried to figure out what direction to go in.  All I know is that I missed this spot.  I come here and usually have no plan...or else I have one and it changes as I type.  I told VerDell that there were days that I sat down to write one thing and it was another that bubbled up.  I liked that.  I miss surprises, seems like I have to make so many "plans" to make sure my responsibilities are taken care of that I've all but planned myself right out of  the picture.  I feel like I'm stuck on cruise control, keepin things all steady and consistent and as any Two-Bit-Teena who has ever gone anywhere with me knows; I hate cruise control.

But I digress;  It's time to get back to the stories and what better way than to go to the source of all sweet inspiration, the Supper Club Cookbook.  I know...I know...it doesn't have an index...it's filled with pinches and "smidgens" but I bet you can't pick it up without rememberin' the significance of "Three Call Pound Cake" and "Not Angel Hair" noodles.  For those of you who (still) have it, I bet there isn't one page that doesn't take you back (about twenty pounds).  So join me on the "Ship of Fools" and do feel free to add you own flavor in the form of comments or down right denial...spice it up, cause the "Eatin Season" is upon us and it time to invite recollection back to the table.

Next entry:  Heavy Hors

Que’ Lime Pie: A true Two-Bit-Teena Summer Dessert

You know, it's a sad thing...summer birthdays, nobody wants to spend the day in a hot kitchen..or even worse, over a hot grill. And don't even think you're gonna get a cake, cause a good one takes forever if you do'um right, or just 50 bucks if you order one from Caroline's, but that's another story. (We love our Caroline's)

So when Purl, and yes I will give credit where credit is due because I often am guilty of overlookin' the fact that the idea really wasn't mine; like with those roasted red peppers I "re-jarred" and gave to the Bee, but I won't go into that here.

As I was sayin' So when Purl came up with this fine ice-box pie it wasn't even digested when the rest of us weren't puttin our own spin on it. Even Bubba got in the mix cause his favorite pie is Rum cream and he thought, "Hell, a cup of 150-rum would just make this even better, and then I said; well, hell to you too, what about a couple shots of cheap Tequila and a pretzel crust, we'd have our-self a good ole Margarita pie! So then Lushious said, "Well hell to the power of three," what about a Cosmo pie for goodness sake?

If it hadn't been for Holly askin about a Pot Pie, I think we could have gone on all night, but we forgive her and her tendency to revert back to her tie-dyed hippy-skinny-dippin and eatin olive sandwiches days.

But be that as it may, we had such a good time that VerDell and I decided this mornin that the Que Lime Pie would be the official Birthday Pie of the Two-Bit-Teena's and if you were born in summer...that's your cake!

So, that bein decided it made it important to get the basics put down.

Start with 1 store bought Graham cracker crust
Add
• 1 can sweetened condensed milk

• 1 8oz tub Cool Whip (don' t use low fat - it won't work)

• 1/2 cup Nellie & Joe's Key (or Que’) Lime Juice (found in the juice section, not the mixer section)

In a bowl
Mix milk, Cool Whip and juice together
pour into crust. Refrigerate for several hours.

I put mine in the freezer and pulled it out to thaw after folks sat down and it was fine. It refreezes too..as long as the alcohol content remains legal.

So Bone Appetite everybody and Many happy summer birthdays!

Stayin Lucky: 01-01-11

Somebody needs to educate these young people today. I was in the Food Lion this mornin’ cause I need a jowl for my greens and I wanted dried black-eyed peas, cause in reality, in Virginia there are no “fresh peas” this time of year and I am not goin to be the one to mess with the gastronomic insurance policy.

But I digress. The young lady checkin me out and the gentleman baggin asked me why so many folks were all buyin greens and black-eyed peas and “stuff”?

She sounded like she had been down here for awhile, but when I inquired as to where she came from, she said her Momma was from New York, so I thought….Ahh, that explains it. She went on to tell me that she had learned that Southerners were really superstitious about their food and especially on New Year’s Day. Then she made the ultimate mistake cause she said, “So what’s this stuff sposed to do anyway?” Lord, do not open the door for Lurlene to step through with a story, cause you will git an earful. So right there in the Food Lion I began to recite the lore of food to be eaten on New Year’s Day to assure good luck, good lovin, and prosperity.

Startin with the easy stuff I went through the “traditional menu”.

Well, I said, collards are leafy vegetables and represent “foldin’ money”; while black-eyed peas represent “pocket change”. Always make sure you eat more greens than peas. Simple as that.

Hoppin’ John: is a staple of the Southern table; This is a mix of black-eyed peas (coins) and rice (representin “plenty”). Rumor has it that black-eyed peas were the only crop left after Sherman’s march through the South, so they also are imbued with luck and prosperity. On my table this is only served on the second day, cause I don’t like the idea of a “left-over” on first night.

But back to my story. I had two big ole cans of whole tomatoes in the basket so she ask me what they were for. I had to think quick cause I wanted to say that their whole purpose in life was to hide the flavor of the collards, but I knew better. They are for passion and promise. Start the year off without a tomato puddin’ as I call it and you can bet you are in for a long lonely winter!

In many Asian cultures, noodles are required New Year’s eating cause their length signifies a long life. But if the noodle breaks before it reaches your mouth, it’s bad luck for you! Not so in the South, here it’s Macaroni a “short noodle” and cheese. It’s the hot melted cheese and the toasty buttered bread crumbs that promise a short and warm winter. Why with all that fat you could just stick a candle in my belly and I’d burn for days.

La famille down in New Orleans serves turkey on the New Year’s Day menu. But most Southerners frown on poultry since fowl “scratch for a living”. We prefer to live “High on the Hog” and just about any good cut will serve the purpose. Pork is thought to bring good fortune, a tradition that may have originated because pigs use their snouts to dig in a forward direction, a symbol for “moving forward” in the New Year. I’ve always cooked tenderloins for my personal good luck charm, but given I’m older, I’m goin for a rolled rump. Seems more fittin these days.

My cart is almost empty now, except for leeks and beets a personal favorite with no particular lore and a good thing, cause I have about eight folks standin about and the twenty-sumpins are smiling and promisin me they are gonna fix a real Southern New Years Day Dinner. I move on out of the way so the gentleman behind me with the six-pack could tell his story next. He's been real polite.

My work here is done, it was a good mornin at the Food Lion.

Close by? Come on over, it’s a tradition in the Friendly Village. Feedin the masses since 1990 or there abouts. We almost canceled this year but Jude shook some sense in me and he was right. Some things just gotta happen.

Lurlene and Buck’s New Years Day Dinner (for as long as we live)

Stuffed Pork Roast with pan gravy, Black-eyed peas and Tomato Puddin, Collards, Macaroni and Cheese with buttered crumb toppin, pickled beets, Chow-chow, green tomato pickle and black-berry cobbler. (Look on the side for garlic rice)

Happy New Year everyone!

My Pie?

Now I mean no harm or disrespect but have you ever noticed how when you go lookin for a recipe on the internet that you find it and it sounds good and it has five stars and then you drop down a little lower to investigate what folks actually said about “the recipe” and they say things like; “this was the best peach pie recipe ever, I made a few changes like I added a teaspoon of nutmeg, and I didn’t use the sugah they called for, or I substituted agave and then tapioca for the cornstarch, then I added a cup of white wine and only cooked it for 20% of the time the author mentioned and then left it in the oven overnight and it was perfect.”

Honestly, why did you give this recipe five stars when the only thing that vaguely resembles the original was that you started with peaches? It’s not right…I mean…you are gushing over your own version of this poor defenseless peach pie recipe and I guess the lady who sent it in is askin, “what tha?”

I mean here she is, sharin her heart, her perfect pie and everyone is just changing, and addin, and subtractin. I bet her feelins were hurt when her blue ribbon winner turned into lord knows what kind of mess.

Oh I see it all the time and I have to say, does anyone out there just “follow” the Peach Pie as written? Why did you even look for a recipe if you are gonna to change it up like that? Perhaps I am being testy. But I digress.

Sunday was Dennis 54th and Buck and I had a boatload of fresh peaches from one of our day trips so here is our version of a perfect "Peach and Oh, I had a handful of blueberries so I threw them in Pie." It was good I thought, try it like this or go ahead and put your little spin on it and call it your own.
Happy Birthday Dennis!

Dennis’s “Just Peachy” and Blueberry Deep-Dish Birthday Pie
This involves getting into your car and heading out to find fresh peaches.
Ingredients
• 10-15 fresh peaches, pitted and sliced
• a handful of “woe is me” blueberries
• 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1/4 cup butter
• 1 TBS. cornstarch
• 1 tsp. Nutmeg
• Dash of Amaretto (because Lurlene is cookin)
• 1 recipe pastry for a 9 inch double crust pie or "Let the Dough-Boy do it."

Directions

• Mix flour, cornstarch, sugar and butter into crumb stage
• Place one crust in the bottom of a 9 inch pie plate.
• Line the shell with some sliced peaches. Sprinkle some of the butter mixture on top of the peaches, then put more peaches on top of the crumb mixture. Toss the blueberries in “willie-nillie.”
• Continue layering until both the peaches and crumbs are gone.
• I like to use my cookie cutters to cut out shapes for the top of the pie, stars, hearts, dogs, etc. Top pie with what ever you want to do with the top crust.
• Bake at 450 degrees for 15 min and then 350 for 30 minutes or until crust is golden.
  Allow pie to cool before slicing.
• Best when eaten fresh. With friends.

Last Piece

I ate ten cookies yesterday...but I left a slice of pie.
A girl must prioritize you know, it's the eat'n season and that's got me worried.

Time Flies - Happy Birthday Mr. Jude

Another birthday in the Friendly Village...and I have been so self absorbed that I haven't even taken the time post. Yesterday we drove out to Linden Wood Farm to celebrate Mr. Jude's passing a speed limit birthday. He smoked a pork butt that would make you "wanna smack yo Momma" ( I do not know where that sayin came from, but I say it all the time) and threw in some ribs for good measure. LaNeese,not to be mistaken with LaNephew, cooked a squash casserole and Bubba boiled shurmps; there were taters roasted in a cast iron pot the size of a bushel basket and then bein Nurse was here visitin MiMi, she spiked the green beans with "the ingredient",long side were pickled beets and a fresh baked Sally Lunn that doubled as a center piece. Oh, and coleslaw,not the crunchy bright green kind from Hymie and Stime's BBQ, but the kind that turns kinda yeller cause of the carrots and has some sugah in it. Now here is where it is fittin to say "It's all good" and if I hadn't been pinned to my seat due to the number of folks around the table, I would have had two helpins and Popped...right there against the wall, I wouldn't have even made it to the floor.

Before slicing Apple Pound Cake, (sans the Apple Jack brandy wash, cause nurse don't take to no "bean dush" even on cake) we pushed back from the table and went into the livin room to open presents. You know you are in the South when you get peanuts salted in the shell and a Smithfield ham for your birthday! He also got a gift certificate from Trash and Class, he favorite "junkin joint" next to "Junkin for Jesus" on the Southside. He got some oil paint'ns too that VeraLee and MiMi had seen him touch while in the General store. It was a good night....Mr. Jude is not a man who wants folks to make a fuss over him...but he just generates the kind of spirit that you want to fuss over. Its a kindness that lives deep in his heart. He's like a beautiful well of still water that I could drink from any day of the week. I love me some Mr. Jude! We all do!

P.S. Speakin of still water, LaNeese wants to get the sunken "love tub" out of her trailor and we thought about turnin it into a hot tub up in Buckinham...but that's for another story.

Happy Birthday Mr. Jude we love you!

Bliss Under Glass

Monday I got a surprise package in the mail. It was a scrunchy little brown box about 4 inches by 4 inches, squished on the corners like it was made from a bigger box. I love it…it took time to craft and I appreciate that. I spent a long time with it before I before takin the next step. It must have had nine different stamps…and I studied the outside just wonder’n what in the world would be comm’in to me like that. I didn’t recognize the post mark or the print, but it was rounded and small…so I thought for sure it was from a chubby short lady with a sense of adventure (cause of all the stamps)
Given I’m not paranoid…I finally stopped toying with it and cut the tape that held the corners together. It didn’t take a minute to recognize the headlines of my hometown newspaper wrapped around and poked in the sides of the box. Under that, the single layer of bubble wrap distorted a second set of round letters that I recognized in a minute as Blackberry Jam – Summer 2009.
Well, my heart did a flip-flop and I started salivat’n right there at the kitchen counter. Fresh blackberry jam..pure gold. Lord, the hours that go into that. A gift from the Gods…conjured up by a little round lady that used to live next-door to my Momma and remembered it was my birthday. Her note was short…”she knew I had a lot on my plate…and she hoped this would make it all taste better. X’s and O’s and a smiley face. Now that's a gift!

I know I often go on and on about watermelons…and I do love’um…the queen of the summer fruits, are made for shar’in and I love to share…but I’ve got a secret side…and it’s a little greedy. It comes out long about July when I see the tiny white blossoms I’ve been watchin’ since June give way to red; and long about the end of July, turn deep and sweet indigo, the color of temptation.

I say temptation cause they grow in places that usually have a “no trespassin” sign not too far away; they're usually across the road, on hills and hard to get to places. Places that are protected by a host of natures border guards; chiggers and poison ivy, thorns and knats. Even though I know I’m gonna get eaten, bitten and stabbed I go…cause they don’t last long.

So after I fight off the bees and swat at the mockin’ birds who treat me like the thief that I am, I eat’um right there, washed by the rain or coated in summer pollen, doesn’t matter, Kiss’um up to God and thank Miss Universe cause on New Year’s day I always share…it’s Deep Dish Love at our house…as traditional as black-eyed peas and greens. It’s my offerin’ for the gift for another year and another summer.

Settin the Table

I got a new set of dishes the other day when Vera Lee and I were out "Junkin for Jeasus". It was a hard call because I must have at least twenty sets of dishes. I say dishes because they are not all created equal. Some are indeed fine China; like Momma’s wedding china, she said she gave it to me because she always hated it, I mean what does that say about the woman who parts with nothing…but this china. But be that as it may…
I got my first set of dishes when I was a teenager. Liberty Blue was “A Piece a Week” with every $10.00 purchase from the A&P. Now, I didn’t buy groceries, but my momma and my grandmomma, and my boyfriends momma and aunt Mae Lee would buy them for me and save them up for my birthday or Christmas and then spring’um on me in a “place settin” I have 10 place settins and kept them in my hope chest. But I stopped hop’n and gave them to my cousin…and then twenty years later had to buy’um back cause I was feel'n nostalgic.

I fell in love with another set I saw while pass'n time in Miller & Roads on my lunch hour. They were pricy…for back in the day…but I managed to pick up pieces and drop enough hints that I ended up with enough to host about eight folk…and, (this is big) serve stuff on actual match'n platters and servin bowls…not from pans on the stove. I didn’t give those away, I jes keep’um in the “mahogany china press-radiator cover that Buck built for me as a surprise. (They’ve got a gold rim and I’m too lazy to wash’um by hand)

Not to be forgotten are the sets Wilton Armetale (stolen from Steak and Ale by an ole room-mate cause they only paid her minimum wage after a year) that my friends still think are gonna poison them even though I tell them that it is made up of 17 safe base metals none of which will deposit led in their systems…now the food I serve is often more lethal than my Armetale! (I mean the cholesterol alone will take you out before the lead)

Let me tell you…every set of china tells a story in my house….if my plates could talk! I love to set the table. I do; nothing makes me happier than to see all those dishes laid out…just expectin folks to pull up a chair and share a feast…be it store bought fried chicken or New Years pork roast…the table for me is the center of the universe. ..a personal alter if you will from which all great joys will be shared. I may have fixed some bad food in my day, but I hope and pray that those around my table have never had a bad meal.

Now Vera Lee…tell’um about the Friendly Village
(PS, this table is actually at Dennis and Jude's Farm...I don't seem to have a picture of my table...hummm....there are lots of the kitchen though!)