Set no Trap....Take no Bait

I remember one time VerDell asked me, "So just how important is it for you to have the last word?" She does stuff like that, asks questions that just shut you up for a minute. But it got me to thinkin about bait and traps and how some folks just enjoy settin'um up.

It got me thinkin about my Daddy and how much he loved to argue...or debate as he used to like to call it. Only thing was, he knew exactly where he wanted to go with the "open discussion". He was a master and the path was filled with traps and "gotcha's" and dead ends. After he retired, he and my Uncle David would sit in the livin room and go at it all day, and bein it was our house, Uncle David would usually storm out and say sumthin like, "You're just full of it Jimmy," and Daddy would shake his head, flash a smile and say, "Wore him down again..but he'll be back for another round." As usual, he was right, and by lunch time, it would start all over again.

When Radcliffe's get together it's like that sometimes. Others look on like they're watchin' a tennis match and we're pretty much oblivious to their bewilderment...or discomfort. It's a strange head-strong family, we just do what we do cause it's what we did..keep three reason's ahead!

I'm not sayin it's right and it doesn't sound pleasant, but in a way, it was good family fun and Daddy always said, the minute you start cussin, everybody stops listenin' so callin somebody a stupid shit-head was an automatic default. Daddy wouldn't listen to cussin; and some days he wouldn't even listen to reason. But he loved it, sittin there in his big ole chair, usually with a cat on his lap and cigarette in his hand; Lord Know-It-All on his throne.

I just want you to know I say all this with a smile and a touch of nostalgia. I'm m not dissin' Daddy. Nope I could stand my own thanks to him and much to my Momma's dismay. Last thing in the world she ever wanted was another strong will to contend with but that's what she got in my brother and me.

But I digress, I'm thinking about all this because Daddy died fifteen years ago this week, on the hottest day on record. He'd do just that and say, "told you it was hotter'n Hades here".

I do miss him and thank him for teachin' me about not cussin' when I'm fussin, how to spot a bullshitter (I didn't say he wasn't colorful at other times) and how to reach down deep for stuff. There were times when his style served me well, but these days I'm learnin that, "Really?" is a good answer too. I'm conservin' energy and pickin my battles, cause some aren't worth the sport.

RIP Big Jim!

Slippery

I feel bad, I haven't been cuttin "the Mustard" because I felt like this was a place to do something special, you know, keepin the stories alive and all. But I'm lonely here because nobody else writes and for Godzilla's sake folks, Lurlene needs bait, a carrot, sumpin to go after, so toss me a bone!

So anyway, I decided that I would start to put a few comics from the Book of Lurlene up. After all, they're a part of the moment too. You know like when you go out and somebody says somethin so darn funny or "pointed" as my Momma used to say, and you think, to yourself, "now I'm just gonna remember that forever" and five minutes later not one person can remember exactly what it was, but everybody agrees it was good and it could have been published in the Reader's Digest, if you could just remember it. Well, that's what these are like for me.

This one is "through" VerDell. She and I talk on the phone in the morning, it's like our little "pic-me-upper so I can get through this day Lord" time. I say somethin that has no meaning and is probably not based on any fact and she calls me out on it and we get into a rant or she just says somethin profound without even knowin it, kinda like the other day when we were talkin about how often we find ourselves between in a rock and a hard place and she said, as dry as you please, "good thing we're slippery". Simple as that! Well, I was no more good, I rolled and told her I was gonna write that down and I did, sorta.

So thank you to all my muses and while these won't ever appear in the Reader's Digest, they'll cut the Mustard when words fail me!

Que’ Lime Pie: A true Two-Bit-Teena Summer Dessert

You know, it's a sad thing...summer birthdays, nobody wants to spend the day in a hot kitchen..or even worse, over a hot grill. And don't even think you're gonna get a cake, cause a good one takes forever if you do'um right, or just 50 bucks if you order one from Caroline's, but that's another story. (We love our Caroline's)

So when Purl, and yes I will give credit where credit is due because I often am guilty of overlookin' the fact that the idea really wasn't mine; like with those roasted red peppers I "re-jarred" and gave to the Bee, but I won't go into that here.

As I was sayin' So when Purl came up with this fine ice-box pie it wasn't even digested when the rest of us weren't puttin our own spin on it. Even Bubba got in the mix cause his favorite pie is Rum cream and he thought, "Hell, a cup of 150-rum would just make this even better, and then I said; well, hell to you too, what about a couple shots of cheap Tequila and a pretzel crust, we'd have our-self a good ole Margarita pie! So then Lushious said, "Well hell to the power of three," what about a Cosmo pie for goodness sake?

If it hadn't been for Holly askin about a Pot Pie, I think we could have gone on all night, but we forgive her and her tendency to revert back to her tie-dyed hippy-skinny-dippin and eatin olive sandwiches days.

But be that as it may, we had such a good time that VerDell and I decided this mornin that the Que Lime Pie would be the official Birthday Pie of the Two-Bit-Teena's and if you were born in summer...that's your cake!

So, that bein decided it made it important to get the basics put down.

Start with 1 store bought Graham cracker crust
Add
• 1 can sweetened condensed milk

• 1 8oz tub Cool Whip (don' t use low fat - it won't work)

• 1/2 cup Nellie & Joe's Key (or Que’) Lime Juice (found in the juice section, not the mixer section)

In a bowl
Mix milk, Cool Whip and juice together
pour into crust. Refrigerate for several hours.

I put mine in the freezer and pulled it out to thaw after folks sat down and it was fine. It refreezes too..as long as the alcohol content remains legal.

So Bone Appetite everybody and Many happy summer birthdays!

All Sides

Perspective is a powerful player, it's kinda like our content, a stew of influence. VerDell and I can look at the same thing and still see or miss something that leaves the other baffled. I was talkin to her about this the other day...I told her there were three sides to every coin; heads, tails, and the edge and sometimes the truth was on the edge. But I was in the bed thinkin' that there's another side...the inside and all that went into the makin of that coin and that's a player too, cause sometimes new quarters don't work in a vendin' machine.

Like sardines we were...

Packed in the little kitchen "addition".
Left to right: Mr. Pat (The Manager) Lushious, VerDell, LaNeese, Buck, Dennis, Jude, The Bee, Bubba and Sonny. This was prior to addin' Lazy Susie.

Changes and The Interconnectedness of the Kitchen Eco-system

I think the microcosm in which I live is indeed proof that it is impossible to change “one” single thing. Let me just begin by sayin that while I am not a perfectionist, there are things that just annoy the hell out of me. Things I see in my sleep, little things like a spot on my blouse that while well scrubbed, I can still see as if it were the equivalent of a scarlet dribble. While I’m famous for tellin others, that “nobody’s gonna notice,” that’s just because I am so impatient that I can’t wait for’um to change. So, I’m just sayin’ if you hear me say, “Come own sugah…nobody’s gonna even notice!” Do not believe me, stomp back upstairs and change!

That bein’ said. The other day, I noticed the thermo-wrap on my kitchen cabinets has been crackin and peelin off ever since I got that new sanitizing dishwasher. Hell, I bet I could cook a “foil wrap” dinner in that sucker. But the point is, I’m findin it impossible to live with wrapped back thermo-coat, so I told Buck, “Honey, I gotta git some new kitchen cabinets or I’m gonna go crazy.” Bless his heart, he suggested that we just peel it all off and paint, but you know he got “the look” for that idea. And so the adventure began. I don’t even have the energy to write how it all happened, so I am goin to try and illustrate it in a diagram. It made perfect sense to me, but you be the judge of that. (Note: See above decision tree)

But here’s the thing, this is not as bad as 19 years ago when I suggested to Buck that we go to the “goin out of business sale” at Heckingers and look around. It was there that we even saw the thermo-wrap kitchen cabinets in the first place, they had slidin drawers and were the prettiest shade of white you ever saw ”Dream Kitchen White” I think I named them. That afternoon we knocked around and found all the DKW’s they had and loaded them into my truck. Back home we tested our bond by put’um together ourselves. Let me just say that if you and your husband can spend a weekend puttin together kitchen cabinets, your marriage just might survive anything.

But always one to test the boundaries of love, I said,

“Buck, don’t you think it would be a good idea to enclose the back porch and make this one big kitchen and Supper-club eatin’ room? He paused for a minute and then said…only if I can add a deck!”

See what I mean! Our little project took on a life of it’s own. While we are handy, that was a task way too big for us to tackle alone so we found Leonard for the kitchen and the neighbors helped Buck with the deck.

Leonard stayed with us so long we added him as a dependent on our taxes, we got real fond of him, tried to hook him up with the Bee, cause she was “clock watchin” about that time but he wasn’t Jewish, so as handy as he was, it was not gonna happen. (Picky, picky) I remember askin' her, “Jesus Pleasus Bee, what if I had kicked Buck to the curb cause he wasn’t white” and while that left her pie-hole open for a few, she still didn’t take the bait.

But be that as it may, the Supper-club room has been the spot for a zillion (Bee's favorite word) Friday night Happy Hours and time spent on heavy'hors while I cooked in the kitchen. I can see folks and folks can see me and it’s not like the cheese standin alone while others are havin a great time.

VerDell found lots of furniture for me while she was out junkin and I took it all home to have upholstered. Pete Wright, (may he rest in peace) used to just shake his head when I would pull up with the latest chair salvaged from the alley or bought off a porch sale. (I miss Pete, he could cover a full size sofa with only 6 yards of fabric..a master he was…props to Pete)

The center of the Universe though was my three foot ‘cross Tole painted Lazy Susan. Found her at the 13 Acre’s Annual yard sale and had to call Mr. Pat to come pick me up so I could get her home. Supper Club roulette meant you had to hold onto your beer cause if someone wanted the shrimp chances are whatever was in front of you was headed their way too.

So many good times….just because I was willin to commit to one change, which lead to another and another until it all worked out just right. I’m sure this one will too!

Blocked

April was filled with events to share; wedding stories, Marvin's 50th, trips to Italy and the "Goosalini" lamp. So many stories floatin about like cat hairs in a sunbeam! But seems like I just couldn't catch up with'um. I promise to do better...gonna shake out that ole dust mop and get busy!
Promise.
Love L.